Saturday, 27 March 2010

Walk the line

Whilst I'm waiting, I wonder if I should write about where I am, and why I am waiting. So far I'm unresolved, but as I wonder let me type away and see how far I get.

As I left things with you, I was certain that The Conversation was long overdue. I was right, without really knowing I'd slowly pushed a series of buttons that resulted in the most explosive of evenings. We drank, we chatted, we critiqued the woman in the cheap red shoes who subconsciously reached down to stroke her leg each time she felt the conflict of flirting with her male companion too much to bear.

Her male companion, we surmised, was married and a colleague, or possibly her boss, we both sensed a conflict of emotion - in hindsight I wonder if we projected our own feelings, as ever in tandem, onto her. At some point I made a comment which saw Mr Magic disappear in a puff of smoke that stung my eyes so much I cried all of the way home and when he eventually reappeared we talked in earnest. We talked and we talked and we talked for hours, roughly covering all topics you'd expect of The Conversation.

He said this, I said that and quite soon we were back to the lovely place we curiously left in December as it became horribly clear that we both wanted the same thing, but were also both idiots, saboteurs and gloriously in-lust with each other. We still need to talk more, but for now that has to wait as he's flown half way around the world to spend a fortnight's holiday with his other women. Yes ... quite.

This is Her, the woman with whom I share taste in men, a mutual loathing and absolutely nothing else. She is still away on a long term overseas assignment, so this will be the first time they've seen each other in six months - I wonder if anything will be different between them. I wonder if she'll notice that he has new underwear?

So yet again we have Him, we have Her and we have me who, for now, will wait, and try not to wonder too much.


  1. HC, are you hanging everything on this guy, lovely as he is? Are you not tempted to get at least one other stallion in your stable? Clearly he's playing that game. You could too if you wanted......

  2. Leah,

    Thank you - a good observation! To answer your questions, yes I probably am, yes, I'm always tempted (especially when they present themselves in the form of Mr Daniel Craig!) but I chose not to, and yes, I can ...

    What I didn't say, because it's a little too premature, is that yes we do still need to talk but right now I don't see what's to talk about as I don't want him anywhere near me. I'd say it's then probably a good job he's the other side of the world to me but as that is the reason I don't want him anywhere near me I'm in danger of finding myself amidst another vicious circle, and I do so dislike them!

    I expect that feeling to develop over the next two weeks, I don't know how but I expect that it will. So for now, I wait ...

    LHC xx

  3. Aww honey, that's quite a dilemma. Keep posting, it's so therapeutic xx

  4. I agree write and it makes for a cathartic feeling take it from me just went through my own discoveries of self.

  5. Thank you for an interesting read.