27th January

i really must make more time for this as I keep stopping and starting as it's getting me nowhere. Last night I had the most unpleasant dream - that I was having sex with a very attractive man who was covered in places with what can only be described as infectious looking legions.

This is not rocket science is it? No matter which way I bury my head in the sand the result is still the same - I can't continue to have unprotected sex with a man who may, or may not have unprotected sex with another woman, namely Her, when he goes to see her in an undefined number of weeks time. If we settle on this for a moment, and not all other related factors - I'm going to have to tell him. Not I suppose, so much for his sake, but for mine - he might be quite content to stay quiet on the matter, or to rely on his principle of 'if you wanted to know you'd ask', but that's not the way i want to be treated and thus not the way I wish to treat other people.

I guess the question is how long do I leave it? (Answer = don't put it off you idiot!) And, how do I tell him? (Answer = tell him straight!) Phone or face to face?

... too much planning. Not likely to see him for a while, so I guess I'll have to leave it for a bit longer. Miserable as that seems because we all know that I don't want to stop seeing him, or any of the above. This is all so bloody irritating as I can't help but think how he may react despite it clearly being out of my control. Oh my god - the four millionth scenario has just popped into my head. What on earth do I do if he says 'Ok, not a problem'? I suspect blow a fuse and excuse myself on a permanent basis just as quickly as I could!!